For some people, Sunday is a day of worship and rest. For some, it’s a day to get things done around the house or binge watch their favorite show while sipping coffee. For me, it’s been a bit of everything.
I went to the same church for most of my life. I made some of my closest friends at that church. Sundays always looked the same, especially in high school. Get up, go to church, go home, do homework, go to youth group etc. Even my first year of college looked liked that (huge, super grateful shout-out to Logan M. for letting me hang with the high school youth group another year. I truly needed that). And then things changed toward the end of my freshman year of college.
There were some changes in the church. I won’t go into detail, but I felt like the church was going in some strange direction that I wasn’t meant to be apart of. I don’t know if this direction is good or bad, but something was pushing me to get out. That and the fact that I was the only college student in the congregation 90% of the time, so I was in a completely different season of life from basically everyone.
Since May, I have been attending different churches and I think I have it narrowed down to two. Both are much bigger than the church I grew up in. That kind of scares me. The leadership of both churches seems to be very genuine. Both congregations are as outwardly focused (local and global outreach) as they are inwardly focused (Ex. what is Christ doing in my life). For those who don’t know, I consider myself a global citizen, so you can see how I would fall in love with this kind of teaching balance in a church. However, one congregation gives off some clique-like vibes and the other is so big, I’m worried about finding a group of people who I can connect with. Maybe I’m being too picky.
I haven’t been to church in a few weeks. I stayed home to clean, I had to take my sister shopping etc. Yesterday, I got back on my yoga mat. It had been too long. I turned on a worship playlist and found myself working towards new spaces (I gave back bends a shot. Lots of work to do there). I always end a yoga session with breathing meditation, which I have found helps my singing A LOT. Then I had a little devotion time. I keep finding myself in the book of Psalms. Some prayer, some journaling. By the time I rolled up my mat, I felt a new focus coming over me. I felt more alert and more willing to tackle the homework in front of me.
The point is, sometimes church needs to look a little different. I’ve pushed myself miles from my comfort zone just by attending churches full of strangers. I love to worship in a community, whether I know the people or not. But sometimes I need church to be me on a yoga mat, Hillsong playing softly in the background, breathing deeply and just being. Sometimes I need to let every thought, every emotion just float away and bring myself into a place where I can hear God without distraction.
What does church look like for you? Do you need a solitary Sunday? Feel free to let me know your thoughts in the comments.
End of thought.